Sunday, 9 March 2014

The Sunday Posts 2014/ Is a dove a doo Dad

Is a dove a doo Dad
Is a doo a dove
Is a cow a coo Dad
A sparrow jist a spyug
And is a wall a waw Dad
Is a dog a dug
She's gonnae warm ma ear Dad
Instead o' skelp ma lug.

Ma teacher's awfy posh Dad
She changes aw oor names
Wee Shuggie now is Hugh Dad
And Jimmy's ayeways James
Ah'm scunnered wi' it aw Dad
The way she shoogles words
Ah must be glaickit no 'tae ken
That feathered friends are burds.

Ye learnt me aw wrong Dad
Ye cawd a ball a baw
Your wife is now my Mother
You said it wis ma Maw
Ah'm no share hoo tae spell Dad
Ah'll niver pass ma test
Whit is this ah'm wearin' Dad
A simmet or a vest?

Ah gave ma nose a dicht Dad
When it began tae dreep
She gave me sich a fricht Dad
Ah near fall aff ma seat
Haven't you a handkerchief
She roared as if in pain
No, ah jist yase ma sleeve, Miss
And wiped ma nose again.

Ah cawd a mouse a moose Dad
Ah shid hiv held ma tongue
That's manure oan yir bits Dad
Nae longer is it dung
It's turnips and potatoes
No tatties noo and neeps
She said I've ripped my trousers
When ah'd only torn ma breeks.

There's twa words fir awthin' Dad
They're jumbled in ma heed
Hoo kin I be well bred Dad
When ah keep sayin' breed
Now is a crow a craw Dad
Is a bull a bull
A'll try tae get it richt Dad
I will, I will, ah wull

Jim Douglas 
photo by Alistair


Yamini MacLean said...

Hari Om
...aye, but whae scribed the words, ken? Brilliant!! Just said to a friend yesterday that I have been away so long, my ear has other sounds which cause me to be totally lost now, hearing the Scots - and round Dunoon, Gaelic!!! Have to re-atune. Hope your week is looking grand. YAM xx

DB Stewart said...

This reminds me of when I learned the word "please" (while having dinner at a neighbour's house, without my parents). I will never forget it because it was scary to hear an adult man yell at me. Please wasn't much used at my home but at least my Dad didn't yell. Ever. Not even once.

Antares Cryptos said...


Alistair said...

I wondered about posting this as I wasn't sure many would get it.


Keep they lugs open Yamini!

Twisted Scottish Bastard said...

Well done Alistair,
that's the first poem I've read from your blog that doesn't make me want to bash ma heed o'the wa'.

Well done.

Indigo Roth said...

Have you been drinking?

Alistair said...

No comment to the pair of you!

Anonymous said...

Love it and thanks to the years I knew your Dad, I understand it too!! x

The Sunday Posts 2017/Mince and Tatties.

Mince and Tatties I dinna like hail tatties Pit on my plate o mince For when I tak my denner I eat them baith at yince. Sae mash ...