Tuesday, 3 November 2009

You Have Two Cows.........


Hullo there ma wee blog,

Some different types of political ideologies.....


FEUDALISM.....you have two cows. Your Lord takes some of the milk.

FASCISM........you have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the milk.

PURE COMMUNISM.... you have two cows. Your neighbours help you take care of them and you all share the milk.

APPLIED COMMUNISM.....you have two cows. You take care of them and the government takes all the milk.

DICTATORSHIP..... you have two cows. The government takes them both and shoots you.

MILITARISM..... you have two cows. the government takes them both and drafts you.

DEMOCRACY......you have two cows. Your neighbours decide who gets the milk.

REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY......you have two cows. Your neighbours pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

AMERICAN DEMOCRACY...... Candidates for president promise to give you two cows if you vote for them. On election the cows are not delivered, the president is impeached for speculating in cow futures and the cows sue you for breach of contract.

EUROPEAN DEMOCRACY....you have two cows. The government regulates what you can feed them and how/how often you milk them. Then it pays you a subsidy not to milk them. It takes both cows shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. You have to fill in forms to account for two missing cows to avoid tax implications.

BRITISH DEMOCRACY...... you have two cows. They are fed infected feed and go mad, have to be shot and burned. The stock market crashes and millions are out of work. The government does nothing.

CAPITALISM.....you have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

HONG KONG CAPITALISM.....you have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company using letters of credit opened by your brother in law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four back with tax relief on five cows. The milk rights for six cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by you as major shareholder. You sell the rights to all seven cows milk back to the listed company. The annual report states you have ten cows. You kill two cows because of bad feng shui.


other interpretations welcomed.

see you later......

Listening to The Killers ' Are you human'

5 comments:

Morning's Minion said...

This has probably amused me more than it was meant to. I tend to miss the finer points of politics, but this seems right on!

Anonymous said...

I'm sure I've seen it before but it tickled my fancy too .,., again
Permission please Al to copy & send it on to a few friends ?
Scudder

Alistair said...

no problem to pass it on........

Bovey Belle said...

I showed this to first my son, and then my husband, and it was greatly enjoyed by us all, though there is a great deal of truth in it - specially the British one! Bring back Feudalism say I . . .

Big Swifty said...

In Northern Ireland you have two cows, and you teach them to march and play fife and drums. And you build a 20 ft high wall down the centre of the cowshed to keep the peace.

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