Sunday, 6 January 2013

The Sunday Posts 2013/The Visitor

It came today to visit
and moved into the house
it was smaller than an elephant
but larger than a mouse

first it slapped my sister
then it kicked my dad
then it pushed my mother
oh! that really made me mad

it went and tickled rover
and terrified the cat
it sliced apart my necktie
and rudely crushed my hat

it smeared my head with honey
and filled the tub with rocks
and when i yelled in anger
it stole my shoes and socks

that's just the way it happened
it happened all today
before it bowed politely
and softly went away


Anonymous said...

:) lucky you.

ps: hide the chocolate!

Alistair said...

Chocolate? Ah bugger! {Runs to kitchen.}

Too late......

Indigo Roth said...

There IS no chocolate!

*hides wrappers*

Thank you to you and G for being such welcoming and gracious hosts!

Twisted Scottish Bastard said...

What an uplifting poem, well done.
It fills me with optimism for the lovely new year.

As an advocate of life-long-learning and wishing to expand my paltry vocabulary, could you please inform me what is a Squiddrel?

DB Stewart said...

Have you ever watched the film "The Visitor"? Quite interesting in a pared down way.

Alistair said...

Indigo - Hope you're enjoying the stay buddy!

TSB - I can see you enthusiasm levels are creeping towards average. Congratulations. What an improvement. How's the conversion to soul-less corporate entity going?

ps - a squidrell is a cross between a squid and a squirrel:
A tree dwelling nuisance that hides all the nuts.

Alistair said...

dbs - Nope. I'll look out for it though.

Anonymous said...

If Indigo ever makes it even remotely near me, I will be buying him one of these pizzas.

Alistair said...

That would be considered a snack by that boy!

Dad said...

Hello Alistair, and a happy new year to you. Or should that be happy hogmanay?

Either way, I hope you, G and everyone in bonnie Scotland are well.

I just wanted to drop you a line and let you know that I thought of you the other day (hear me out!). My children and I watched the Pixar movie Brave last week; yes, yes, I know it's from last year, but watched it we did, and a damn fine film it was too; have you seen it?

I was wondering if any of the characters would utter those immortal words at some point in the film and thankfully, the main character Merida does. Annoyed, she flicks her flame red hair from her face and mutters, "crivvens .......". well, you know the rest!!

Will be in touch!

(no relation) said...

Smaller than an elephant? (Would that be Eliot Nesh, the elephant?) At the other end of the spectrum, I think your visitor is probably bigger than a badger, too. At least he bowed politely when he left (your house in shambles.)

Alistair said...

Hullo Dad,

And a very Happy New Year to you too!

Aye, G and I saw it at the cinema and enjoyed it too. I know exactly the words you mean - made me smile too!
{Apparently they were going to subtitle the movie at one point but - particularly for 'crivens etc' but decided to leave it because the way she said it made it clear what it meant!}

Hello too Paula,

He wasn't any trouble, truth be told, and was exceedingly polite. His exit bow was very graceful but banging his head on the table when he did it was hilarious!

Rebecca S. said...

Thank you for introducing me to Jack Prelutsky. He's great. Glad your visit was so...interesting ;)

Alistair said...

Happy to help Rebecca. And he was a lovely guest to be truthful.....

Antares Cryptos said...

You met him over the internet? Glad it worked out;)

BTW, does Jess always look so photogenic and soulful?

Alistair said...

I've now met three of my internet buddies and they've all turned out to be nice people. Almost restores faith in the internet somehow.

The Sunday Posts 2017/Mince and Tatties.

Mince and Tatties I dinna like hail tatties Pit on my plate o mince For when I tak my denner I eat them baith at yince. Sae mash ...