Saturday, 1 January 2011

1/1/11 - In the Midnight Hour.........

Hullo ma wee blog,

Happy New Year!

I carefully carried two cups brimming with hot tea and a plate with a couple of mince pies through to the lounge. I'd been blogging for an hour or so, making up the last post of the year and scooting through a few entries from the blogs I follow. It was just the two of us here for Ne'erday as we had cancelled plans to go through to my brother on the west coast. I have a chest infection {again} which has left me with a racking cough which almost folds me double when it hits and the Lovely G is displaying some painful bruising from having fallen  from halfway down the stairs during a power cut the other morning as she tried to get ready for work in the dark. {She's perfectly OK though, nothing seriously damaged, but now she creaks and groans almost as much as I do trying to get out of her chair. Yes, I know. I should never be in her chair in the first place!}  So - at the moment we share two sets of seriously aching ribs. This led me to cancel the trip across country and that has left us here with only each other for company across 'The Bells'.

As I carefully put down the cups on the small table between our favourite seats she is just closing down her own laptop and smiles sweetly at me. This in itself can be both off-putting and suspicious. Don't ask me how, it just is, and at this precise moment my man-radar has just gone into inter-continental-ballistic-overdrive. You're fooling no-one with that ' all sweetness and light' routine no matter how big and shiny those baby blues are.
"What?" I ask, suspiciously, but gently and hopefully not so suspiciously that she goes all defensive on me.
She smiles again.
"Oh no, there's something going on. What is it?"
 No point trying to be subtle now, that's clearly not going to work. I may have to apply pressure so I prepare to go into full grumpy old man mode.
"No, nothing. I was just reading your blog."
A nice warm feeling engulfs me, part relief, part pride, part pleasure and a tiny frisson of guilt for being so suspicious. She has always been highly complimentary as far as 'Crivens, Jings' goes, - except for the post about the French Lingerie advert, but let's not go into that right now- so I prepare to glow in the light of my one and only's warm approval.
I smile back.
"Oh, what were you reading?"
"I was just catching up with the last one."
"And what did you think?"
"I was thinking that it's about right. You never do any of your New Year resolutions."
"Oh...... And?"
"No, nothing...... just seemed about right, that's all."

I sit down and reach for the tea and lift a mince pie in my other hand. I don't know what it is but the radar is still pinging away back here. There's definitely something else going on. I take a sip, then a bite as I try to work out what's happening without giving off signs that I'm on to her. It's important not to give the game away in situations like this. Never let on that you're on to them, that's the trick.
But she's still smiling. There's definitely something going on. She's not really looking at me. That's a sure sign, a dead giveaway. I'm onto you doll. I know there's something else here. What are you up to?......

"I've made my New Years resolutions."
She emphasises the 'my' part in the last sentence. I'm deep in thought. I still don't get it so I'm not really paying attention as I respond.
{According to my Lovely G this is a normal part of my behaviour. I never listen, I never pay attention and I never 'get it'.}
"Oh yes. I've made my New Year resolutions. Unlike you I always do them don't I?"
I'm still not paying attention. What is she up to? What can it be? Could it be? No, probably not. What about?......

Still not listening.

In my mind my radar is doing that roving around like in the heads up display of a fighter cockpit as it searches relentlessly for it's target. That takes a lot of attention if your going to avoid an attack or less likely, get a diversionary attack of your own in first.

"D'you want to hear them?"
The radar locks on with high pitched warning tone.
Oops. Missed that one.
"Um.....Aye....of course."

"Your going to lose weight. You're going to take more exercise, get the garden sorted out, complete that list of DIY and be much less of a Grumpy Old Man in every sense of the word.............."

"And phone your Aunts and Uncles......"

Ah Bugger!!!!

Help ma Boab!

See you later.

Listening heart sink.


coastkid said...

"man radar" ! good term!...
Get well soon -:)

DB Stewart said...

I can totally relate to the man radar thing. And thank you so much for helping me better understand Hogmanay. Now, even with the facts, I remain jealous!
P.S. I'd like to publish your reply on my blog with a link to you. I hope you don't mind.

Alistair said...

Thanks guys.

DBS - no problem as long as you remember those 'facts' are very tongue in

The Scudder said...

Hahahaha, nice one G !!
Hope you both Get Well Soon .,.,

TWD said...

And a Happy Hogmanay to you, Al!

Enjoyed the post. Hope you both feel better soon and you're able to fulfill all of the resolutions that are made for you. ;)

Sandra said...

ahahahaha! Well, you seemed to suspect that something was coming. Maybe you'll be psychic in 2011...or your call your aunt more often!

Alistair said...

Cheers all.

Scudder - Don't encourage her buster!

Hullo Sandra, Welcome to the blog.Thanks for the comment and for signing up. The lovely G says men can't multi-task and I suppose this post might prove she has something there.

But I'm not admitting it ok........

lom said...

Happy New one

Alistair said...

and you lom......

The Sunday Posts 2017/Mince and Tatties.

Mince and Tatties I dinna like hail tatties Pit on my plate o mince For when I tak my denner I eat them baith at yince. Sae mash ...