Sunday, 17 July 2011

The Sunday Post


This weeks Poem:

The King’s English


I take it you already know
Of tough and bough and cough and dough?
Others may stumble, but not you,
On hiccough, thorough, slough and through.

Beware of heard, a dreadful word,
That looks like beard but sounds like bird.
And dead: It’s said like bed, not bead --
For goodness’ sake, don’t call it deed!

Watch out for meat and great and threat…
They rhyme with suite and straight and debt.
A moth is not the moth in mother,
Nor both in bother, nor broth in brother.

And here is not a match for there,
Nor dear and fear for bear and pear,
And then there’s dose and rose and lose --
Just look them up -- and goose and choose.

And cork and work and card and ward,
And font and front and word and sword.
And do and go, then thwart and cart,
Come, come, I’ve hardly made a start!
A dreadful language? Why, sakes alive!
I’d learned to speak it when I was five.
And yet, to write it, the more I tried,
I hadn’t learned it at fifty-five.

Anon

8 comments:

Kat_RN said...

Funny and oh how true. Then when you start mixing in accents..... oh dear. Is it really the same language (let us not even think about spelling)?
Have a great Sunday!
Kat

dbs said...

Love our language! It inspires play. Hence Lewis Carroll. Hence Dr. Seuss etc.

IndigoWrath said...

Hey Alistair! I'm told English is an easy one to learn to speak, but a nightmare to spell. I believe you have proven the point. Indigo

IndigoWrath said...

Hmmm, did it save my comment or didn't it?... Interesting...

Alistair said...

Thanks Folks - all good stuff!

Glad you enjoyed it.

......and as you can see Indigo - Yes, it did!

Jane said...

I love this poem Al! I know it as a longer version that starts with:

"We’ll begin with box, and the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox should be oxen, not oxes.
Then one fowl is goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a whole lot of mice,
But the plural of house is houses, not hice.
If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn’t the plural of pan be pen?
The cow in the plural may be cows or kine,
But the plural of vow is vows, not vine.
And I speak of a foot, and you show me your feet,
But I give a boot… would a pair be beet?
If one is a tooth, and a whole set is teeth,
Why shouldn’t the plural of booth be beeth?
If the singular is this, and the plural is these,
Why shouldn’t the plural of kiss be kese?
Then one may be that, and three be those,
Yet the plural of hat would never be hose.
We speak of a brother, and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
The masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine she, shis, and shim.
So our English, I think you will agree,
Is the trickiest language you ever did see."


Thanks for reminding me of it!

TwistedScottishBastard said...

Sounds better when spoken in Glesca.

Alistair said...

Jane - thanks, that's a braw addition!

TSB - I know what you mean.

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