A tail for Sunday.

Couldn't help laughing at this one.

See you later.

Listening to:

A very un-pc joke

Maybe it should be called a 'Barka'

Listening to:

Dear TSB

I thought you might like to know that the book "Understanding Women" is now out in paperback.

{Of course this is just a photo of volume 1.......}

Wedded Bliss

I wonder if any of these brides went for the double-barrelled option?

Probably not………….

Thanks to my Lovely G for sending these to me!

Listening to:

 

The Evolution Of Man

It seems scientists studying the behaviour of chimpanzees have stumbled upon what they believe to be the reason that man first stood on two legs and began to walk. They observed that during times of limited food availability chimpanzees spent markedly more time upright as they gathered food and carried it away rather than staying to eat it where it was found. This behaviour was seen to be particularly prevalent when competition for a favourite food source was involved as individuals would carefully gather armfuls and carry food to a safe area away from their rivals, successfully increasing their personal food intake.

Scientists now believe this could be what drove early hominid man to stand and that increased competition forced him to become more expert at standing upright, walking and carrying until it became the preferred method and the body adapted accordingly.

How typical it seems that the only thing capable of getting man off his backside was a takeaway……….

Listening to:

Kids and Parents - eh?

These days it feels like often no-one is willing to take responsibility over their own actions or those of their kids. God knows how teachers cope day after day.

To me this sums it up nicely. although I doubt it's a real answering machine for the school. The voice kicks in after about 30 seconds.......

see you later.

Scottish Wonderings

Think about it.......

Technically,  every true Scotsman was originally a Scotch egg..........



see you later.

listening to:

Unusual wonderings.

Blind people wear sunglasses.

I wonder why deaf people don't wear ear-muffs??????


{Um.........Sorry!}

see you later.

Listening to:

Internet Wonderings

I wonder if you can order stuff from Amazon if you're actually IN the Amazon?

See you later.

A Christmas tale.

An Uncle, who was a baker, drowned at Christmastime. In a very unfortunate accident, he fell into the bowl of Christmas pudding mix. He would have been ok because he was a good swimmer but he didn’t realise that just under the surface there were some very strong currants..........

see you later.

Gold, Frankincense and Socks

Please - don't give socks this Christmas.

Have a heart!


see you later.

Coldplay Christmas

Away in A Manger

The Reindeer Song

More from the Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre I'm afraid...........



and still more to come over the next few days.

Be Warned!

Pantomime Wonderings

I wonder what Captain Hook was called before that crocodile bit his hand off????



see you later.

Away in {Pret} a Manger

Mwahahahahaha

Man Rules

We've always heard ” the rules ” from the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male {AKA the right} side

Please note.. they are all numbered 1 ON PURPOSE!


1.We are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down.
   We need it up, you need it down.
   You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sport is like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
 Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Subtle hints don't work!
Strong hints don't work!
Obvious hints don't work!

Just say it simply, clearly and preferably more than once!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you’re fat, don’t ask. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, you'll get an answer you don’t want to hear.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. Either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during the adverts on TV.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. Men see in only 16 colours.
Peach is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. I have no idea what colours mauve/russet or antique linen are. Indigo is a blogger pal.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” We will act like nothing’s wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.. Really

1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football, politics or current affairs.'

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but  that's ok -  It’s like camping.

Yoko Ono / Kerry Katona

Hullo ma wee blog,

If I was Yoko Ono's Dad...........

...............I would have called her sister 'O-Yes!'




And - I sometimes wonder if Kerry Katona actually owns a cat???

See you later.

Listening to

If I was illiterate..........

I really would judge a book by it's cover!

Um.......

Aye, ok.

Bye!

Who You Gonna Call......

Sometimes, your mind is a strange place. I know mine is anyway. There are times when the strangest thoughts come to mind, or even images set me off on a train of thought. Sometimes weird thoughts come unbidden and interject into whatever is going on at the time. Sometimes these thoughts bring a smile or make me laugh.

 I was walking the other day when I saw something at the side of the road. My first instinct was that it was something that had been hit by a car so I walked over towards where it was. I looked down, and realised that it was someone's handkerchief. Slightly relieved, I turned away and carried on walking and as I did so a smile crossed my face.

" That's a relief!  I thought for a second someone had hit a baby ghost."


Aye. Strange things indeed.

Listening to.