Is it SOOOO hard to do?

Hullo ma wee blog,


Jings - this last week has flown by and I have hardly posted anything, which is a bit unusual for me. It's been nothing spectacular - a bit of gardening, a bit more of job hunting, a bit of writing and my usual bit of frustration with Job Centre Plus, although this time not over insurance form completion. As you may know I have an ongoing jousting match going on with this Government dept handling unemployment as they don't in my opinion have any role in helping you find suitable employment but instead are focused on getting you off the unemployment figures via any job - suitability unimportant - and in checking that you don't try to avoid finding a job as it's obviously your fault your unemployed in the first place/ you're a lazy toe-rag. {Sorry but I'm bitter and twisted on the subject}

At my last meeting with them the week before going to Holland I had let them know I was going to be out of the country on holiday and they had advised that as I wouldn't actually be actively looking for work they would have to close my claim down temporarily, but that I could restart it by calling up a helpline for a 'rapid reclaim' when I got back. On telling my advisor when I would be returning he said that I should call the given number first thing the next morning and ask for the claim to be reinstated and they would in turn arrange for me to come back to my local office to have this done.

"Er, but I'm here now and I've told you when I'm away and when I'm back so why can't we just arrange a meeting time - um - now?"

But I was told that the process described above had to be followed even though I said that the day after my return was a Saturday and surely no-one would be in the office then. I was assured that the office was indeed manned and that all I had to do was call.

So I did.

And after going through the usual frustrating and impersonal automated 'select from the following numbered options several times before we even think of putting you in touch with a human being'  kind of switchboard that never fails to make me feel at one with the whole human race, I found myself somewhat unsurprisingly and resignedly listening to a recorded message telling me that,

"This office is now closed. Normal office hours are between 9am and 5pm Monday to Friday. Please call during normal working hours."

But hey, I was still on my last couple of days of holiday so I wasn't going to let that spoil my day, so I just let it go and decided to call again on the Monday.

9.30 Monday morning I was back on the phone and back through all the numbered options until I again got to the right dept. This time I was now met by a new recorded message telling me,

"This office is closed for the Monday holiday and will re-open for business on Tuesday. Please call again during normal working hours"

I was, it is fair to say - a bit peeved. Why couldn't they have mentioned that in Fridays automated message. Is it so difficult to get communication right?  {and why did the local guy get it wrong in the first place}

I called again on Tuesday and finally got through to a very nice man called Bill who apologised and empathised and said he would pass my comments on. I thanked him and let him know that I wanted to restart my claim for unemployment benefit - in reality this is just national insurance credits as I don't get any unemployment payments. {Long story so lets not go there.} He told me he could do that and it would require a few questions that would take about 10 minutes to go through. I said that was OK and he proceeded to ask me a pile of questions and after several minutes he said,

"Now what the Job Center will do to help you back to work will be............."

I stepped in to remind him that I had been claiming for several months and had only been on a weeks holiday so he didn't need to go through the spiel but was told that he had to follow the process. He then went through four or five minutes of explaining what they would do, what they would expect me to do, how I should record it, how they would track it and all the other stuff that I knew - and he knew I knew -  before he finally came to a halt and we could end the call with me having an appointment at my favourite JC+ office the following day to have the claim officially restarted.

Phew.........at least that was it over, right?

Aye, right!

Next day at the duly appointed time I was waiting for my appointment when I was handed a clipboard and what looked like a thin booklet.

"Could you fill this in before we start the appointment please"

I was then left to complete a 17 - yes, that's right - a SEVENTEEN page form, all relating to an unemployment benefit that I knew I wouldn't be getting. {Actually the form was 24 pages long but 7 didn't apply to me.}

Once the form had been completed I was taken to an interview room and I sat down opposite someone I hadn't seen in the office before. He glanced briefly up at me as I took my seat and put the clipboard and pen down in front of him and returned to the computer screen he was looking at.

"Have you completed the form fully?" said without raising his head.

I didn't answer until the silence caused him to look at me, at which point he found me staring at him.

I smiled.

"Hello, my name is Alistair Robertson. Nice to meet you."

 I continued to stare at him until he blinked and responded with a 'hello' and his name in reply . He tapped the form with the middle finger of his right hand and repeated his initial question.

I said I believed so but maybe he should check it over. He picked it up and started to flick through some pages and then said he would need to get someone to look over it as it wasn't a form he was familiar with, and left the room, returning a moment later. He pulled up my records on the screen and said that he would go through my previous agreement - a kind of contract stating what you are expected to do in your job search each week as a minimum - which is negligible in reality - with me. I said that as he could see on the screen I had been in for an interview and had updated the contract with my advisor only 3 days before I had gone on a weeks holiday and that this was in reality only the first working day back after returning and so all the information there would be accurate and up to date. Despite this he insisted that we go through it all so that he could check each line and ask me to confirm that was what was agreed. At the end of each paragraph he made an amended  'as above' comment. The process took nearly 40 painstaking and painful minutes. He then printed off two copies even though I said I already had one and had me sign four or five different forms in duplicate - including one which confirmed I had been given a plastic wallet - even though I said I already one and didn't need another - containing contact numbers.

Once I had gone through all that I was free to go. I stayed long enough to ask a question about going on a short training course for a qualification I am considering and could I do that and keep claiming to ensure my insurance payments would be protected. I would still complete my mandatory job search/application quota etc,etc,etc. I was informed that he couldn't answer that but would check into it for me and let me know.

With that I was ushered out as he returned to the computer screen. As I walked across the office to the exit one of the admin ladies confirmed that my marathon form had been correctly filled in.

"You do know that you don't qualify for that benefit though, don't you?"

I smiled. "Yes. Thank you." and stepped out into the bright sunlight.

I exhaled and took a deep breath of clean fresh sea air.


"Ah, Alistair ma boy. Welcome back to reality!"

On Friday I had a voicemail message left to say that if I attended the two week short course I was proposing to help my job prospects my claim would have to stop until it was completed as it would be full time training. That would also void my insurance claims.

How bloody helpful.

See you later.

Listening to Semisonic 'Singing in my sleep'

The week ahead.........

Hullo ma wee blog,

This week will end in a good way hopefully as the Lovely G and I fly off to Holland to spend some time with our Dutch pals Lisette and Martien before meeting up with my brother and his wife for a few days sightseeing and relaxing. Before then I will be crossing a couple of anniversary dates; the first anniversary of the blog's existence and the first anniversary of being made redundant. Hopefully you don't need to ask which of those will be the most enjoyable.

This morning I have been arranging with my ex-employer to take up a share option which I am entitled to. This needs to be fully concluded by Friday which should be no problem, but may unfortunately use up almost all of our remaining money from my dwindling redundancy payment. The upside is that by exchanging this for shares at a very preferential rate we will initially double our investment and hopefully be in a good position to benefit from growth which I feel is likely in the next however long. I have to maximise what I can take from my employers since their unfair redundancy selection process effectively killed my pension, which was key to our future plans. The downside is that it will lock the money up in shares and limit the amount we can access at any given time without taking a hit on tax liability, but I'm splitting ownership of shares with the Lovely G to use the tax advantages.


I also had yet another 'helpful interview' today with the Job Centre people. This one aimed at finding me opportunities for 'further training' to help me find work. It failed - they have nothing suitable for roles like mine, but "could have someone look at your CV" I am beginning to feel increasingly desperate/anxious even with the payment protection insurance and now, after a year out of work can see me ending up in a job at half my previous salary. There just no available jobs around and any that seem to be advertised are already ear-marked for people within the advertising organisations I suspect. I had to take with me all my evidence that I have been looking for work. I wondered if my recent sarcastic protest applications for judge and bank CEO etc would come back to bite me but despite asking for evidence to be provided they didn't look at it.

JC+ guy was in fine twitching form and looked anxious as he told me that I now had to be applying for any vacancy regardless of wage with the threat of the ultimate removal of job seekers allowance benefit if I am deemed to be not seriously looking for work. That's a laugh as I don't actually receive the £65 a week allowance any more as I was on contribution based benefit. Once again I asked him to look on the local newspapers to find anything that I could apply for. Amusingly/ depressingly he insisted on going on line to check out vacancies posted through other JC+ regional offices but embarrassingly had to admit that there was a bit of a hiatus at the moment when he couldn't offer 1 vacancy for me to chase. I refrained from explaining that the hiatus wasn't apparently matched by the application of their departmental or governmental policy. It seemed fruitless and to be honest I just wanted to get out of there. My activities, like others unemployed for a similar time, will now be monitored by monthly interviews to offer further 'support'


Deep Joy!

Jings - I need a week away.

see you later.

Listening to Leonard Cohen 'I'm your man'

I See April's Gone Then................

Hullo ma wee blog,

Mayday already. It's true then what they say about getting older - that time begins to rush past. I can't believe that April is past, or March come to that. It seems hardly any time since Christmas in fact. More than a third of the year has tootled by without as much as a 'by your leave' and what have I got to show for it? Nothing. Hee-Haw. Nada. Nicht. Niet. Rien.  Bugger all!

Still unemployed. Still fighting my corner with Job Center Plus on a regular basis to make sure that my insurance payments are getting authorised and that they don't stop my benefit of - well let me think - my benefit of what exactly? It's not as though they are paying me any money - that stopped months ago after I had the gall not to find a low paid job I felt I really just had to do. It stopped because I was careful enough when I was working to pay for  - sharp intake of breath - insurance!

Actually, to be fair to them it wasn't just because I had paid for insurance that would cover most of my bills. That did count as paid income and dis-entitle me of course, but so did the lovely G because she was in full time employment, so did my redundancy payment, since I have some of it left and honestly declared it. Above all however, it was the fact that I perhaps wasn't seriously looking for work. Perhaps I'm lazy-good-for-nothing shyster. After all I really should  have been able to find suitable work by now - even in the middle of a recession. Now, as a result, I have to prove I'm looking for work by providing evidence of two applications per fortnight. Last month I proved I had applied for a job as a High Court Judge, An Anaesthetist, The Chief Finance Executive of a Bank {I really think I could do that one by the way! } and an Exotic Dancer {Don't even GO there, Scudder!!!}.

Well after all, times are tough. They did tell me that I should widen my horizons and that they were entitled to expect me to apply for any and all jobs that were available, so I'm trying - I really am.  I didn't brag about it though. I just quietly slipped it into my paperwork and sat back to see what the result might be. I thought at least I might get a phone call to ask if I was on medication or something. I'm sure that my case worker is going to end up like what's-his-name in the 'Pink Panther' movies. You know the one - Inspecteur Clouseau's boss. I can see the signs already. Honestly, he twitches when I'm with him. Not much - not yet - but it's definitely there. He really doesn't know what to do with me.  I reckon in a 'ceuple of moths' {couldn't resist - sorree..} I could have him looking for an open window  {for himself} or a sniper's rifle. I'm not much bothered about the rifle to be honest. Either way and the lovely G would be covered, either from compensation or insurance. What can I say. I know - I know - I am Mr covered for almost any eventuality.......... Anyway by that time, with all that twitching? I reckon I would put a couple of quid on me, don't you think? I don't think he would stand a cat's chance in hell of taking me out.

Mind you.....

Never thought I would get made redundant either.

See you later.

Listening to Evanescence 'Hello'

And Now.......For something Completely Different.

Hullo ma wee blog,

Seems like all I'm posting about these days is 153 Sqn. When I started it seemed like a good idea. I never thought for a second it would take up all this time - posting, reading, thinking and posting again. Those guys were busy!

It's a good thing I'm unemployed at the moment........{not}

Yesterday was interesting, in a strange and odd kind of way.

I had been invited - no, tell the truth - I had been sent a letter saying I was 'required' to attend, not a meeting, but 'an interview' with a business manager at the local Job Center Plus offices. They had sent me a letter the week before, but it had arrived the day after my 'required interview', and were frankly disbelieving when I phoned them about two minutes after the letter had dropped into my letterbox. The letter may have said what I was required to do and when but it singularly failed to make any mention of 'why' so I queried this on calling. I said that I didn't think it was a particularly productive means of approach to require people to attend without any indication about why. After all, I had explained, I might want to prepare, or to bring some documents etc with me to help along any discussion of whatever I was being 'required' to discuss. I was given a perfunctory 'Its routine' by way of an explanation in return. Having other things to do, I smiled down the phone and said "Oh, right then." in return and hung up.

I love the smell of bureaucracy in the morning......

Yesterday afternoon then, I was perched on my seat across the table from a business manager as he explained that it was the process when someone had been claiming job seekers allowance benefit for 6 months to hold an interview to investigate why this was the case and to explain the change in the situation that occurred after that time.

He smiled {fool} and said,

"And you ARE still unemployed, aren't you?"

as he sat back in his seat and folded his arms. {smug git}

I smiled back at him and said,

"AM I? Jings, I never noticed....."

This kind of smart reaction was obviously nothing new to him so he started to explain that after 6 months claiming this benefit that it was now a requirement for me to review the kind of jobs I was looking for and to scale down my obviously ridiculous expectations about salary and the like. {He didn't actually say it exactly like that but I'm paraphrasing here and anyway, the tone is accurate.} He went on to say that I now needed to scale back my improbable demands for a decent wage and to be open to applying for any and all vacancies that were available, and that if I failed to do this, they would be very likely to stop my claim as I obviously wasn't really seriously looking for work, or being in any way realistic about my prospects, was I?

He sat back again, which was just as well as he was wearing a hideous tie and I was at that point fantasising about grabbing it, hauling him across the desk and pulling on it until his eyes bulged very scarily while I experimented on how many shades of purple I could make his face go.

But also of course, I didn't.

I looked at his badge and as he had been calling me 'Alistair' throughout the interview, I said,

'Actually, CRAIG, I think I have been altogether realistic in my expectations and in my job search. I have been looking at jobs with a salary scale up to 20% less than I was previously on until recently and have now been looking at jobs with 30% less salary. Thats as low as I can afford to go'

I handed over from my folder of documents I had brought with me, 6 examples of jobs I had applied for in the last week and another half dozen rejection letters dated across the last fortnight. I explained how I conducted my job search daily, showed him my much more than required evidence of searches to go along with my examples of applications and explained how I had widened my search away from the restricted list I had originally considered when feeling like I needed a change of career direction, to the list of current applications which more reflected my last employment. I also explained 'in case he hadn't noticed from my records' that I was no longer receiving jobseekers allowance as I had used up all of my 26 weeks at £64 per week to which I was entitled after paying tax and insurance throughout my 32 year to date working life.

Alongside this - after all my lovely G had excluded me from any further benefit by dint of having the gall to be in full time employment herself - I had had the foresight over the years to pay for private insurance to cover my lost salary to the scale of £1700 per month in order to pay my large mortgage and other bills, something that would be in place for up to 2 years.

'So tell me. Why do you think it would be fair and reasonable of you to terminate any claim I'm making when by doing that you would cut me off from the very evidence that my insurers need to continue paying my payment protection claims? Do you think that is a reasonable move when I am meeting every one of your criteria except taking a job for the minimum wage?'

I went to the next desk and pulled off a copy of the local newspaper and put it on the table in front of him and asked him to find me any job advertised in it which would pay anything like the monthly salary my careful wife and I had insured ourselves against losing. I explained very clearly that I would not be intimidated into applying for any crap job which would ultimately cost me my home when I had been practical enough, sensible enough and had foresight enough to protect myself for a long enough time to preserve those things until I could find suitable work without beoming a burden on the state. I asked why he thought this was the right way to do things when I was no longer receiving any job seekers allowance support but in fact had already been cast adrift.

He mouthed platitudes about 'government policy' and 'not his decision', that any termination would be decided by a panel in another dept who would 'take all I had just said into consideration no doubt'.

I held up my hand and said that in case he had missed it that the country was in the middle of recession and that as he could see in the papers, there are few real jobs being advertised. I finished by saying that I wondered how the local and national press would view a member of the public coming to them with a story of how despite trying everything they could to find a job the government had forced them to take a unfeasably low paid job and lose his house {at a time when house prices are at their lowest for years} when that decision didn't need to be faced for another 18 months as there was absolutely no on cost to the government. Perhaps they would see it like I do - that what you are really trying to do is manage the unemployment figures down at any cost and bears no relation to constructively supporting me back to work.

'Would that have anything to do with an election coming up perhaps?'

He looked stunned.

'Of course, the other benefit I have from my insurance is £50,000 of legal cover, and if you try any kind of move to terminate my genuine claim which in turn affects my payment protection, I wouldn't hesitate to use every penny to fight it'

I thanked him for his time and explained that I would have to go as I had an afternoon of job hunting ahead of me and left without a backward glance.

Grrrrr........

see you later.

Listening to Kate Bush 'Man with a child in his eyes'

Best Wishes, Wee Man............

Hullo ma wee blog,

I would just like to send a message of congratulations to my old mate Sir Fred Goodwin, aka 'The World Worst Banker' and ex boss of Royal Bank Of Scotland on his new job as a senior consultant with architect firm RMJM.

Good on ye pal! I never even KNEW that you were a wiz at architecture!

Its great to see that having, like me, to leave a job you had done and enjoyed for a number of years that you have been able to overcome the general lack of job opportunities in the current market and got a nice little earner tucked in your back pocket. I'm so jealous of you, ya wee rascal.

{Aye, I'm still looking, ach, but don't you worry.}

Its great too that this job will mean you travel the world for a couple of weeks a month and still earn enough that you don't have to touch your pension of £343,500 a year. {I never thought by the way that you got enough credit for taking a reduced pension when you were 'entitled' contractually to the full £750,000 a year. God bless ya Guvnor}

Its nice too that you will be working for the firm where one of your old mates, Sir Fraser Morrison, is Head of Operations, so that you will have a wee pal to play with and to talk to. Don't let anyone play with your calculator this time. Saying 'it got broken' isn't an excuse to use twice.

And Fred, don't you listen to those nasty people left behind at the RBS who say that its ridiculous that you can do this when so many of them have been made redundant and the rest have had to take a 10% pay cut. Some folk can be SOOO petty. And anyway a few of them will be getting bonuses of over £500k so boo hiss to them.

Just don't you listen and away and have fun wee man.

Ta ta.........
Sigh.

Don't forget your sandwiches.
Write to me sometimes.......

Aw, Bless!!

{sob}

see you later.

A Cautionary Tale.......

Hullo ma wee blog,



I'm sure everyone can think of a time where something has gone wrong, a mistake made and instinctively, instantly as soon as you find it, you 'fess up', stick your hand up and say 'OOPS! look what I've done, silly me, hahahaha'. I know I have, {yes darling,more than once} and have suffered the consequences, or more usually just the embarrassment, the red face of shame and stupidity. These events are part of being human, we don't get it right all the time but generally we don't either do things maliciously or even, heaven forbid, with criminal intent. Some things of course can be ignored but when there is a real impact then it's generally better to face the music and move on.

So I was surprised today to be attending an interview concerning my 'fraudulent' application for unemployment 'benefit' of £64.50 per week. I had been advised that I had been subject of a 'report' of claiming benefit while I was in paid work.

Now this 'report' I knew about. And I knew all about the suspected 'incident' too. After all it had been me who had turned informant and did the sticking up of grubby paw with a red face and an apologetic smile.

What was it all about? Well when I was being made redundant I was given a letter stating what my official leaving date would be. As my employer had not taken into consideration my highly inconsiderate taking of due, notified and planned holidays during the {ahem} consultation period, they had to extend that by one week and I was issued with another letter with a date a week later. Then, me being the awkward little customer that I am, I found out that I was entitled to move funds from redundancy to pension {blissfully tax free} and asked my employer for details. Cue sharp intake of breath, numerous humming and hawings and a further delay of a week while they punched calculators and computers and checked legislation to make sure I wasn't trying to have them on. This inconvenience of course resulted in letter number three being sent with yet another date stating I would definitely, categorically and absolutely be being waved bye bye and the big door locked behind me on this stated final, final date. It was almost, but not quite, a tablet of stone.
Of course, what they said would take a week took 5 {see, they should never have got rid of me - my job was to find ways around blocks and do in a week what should have taken them five anyway.} and after exhausting themselves they never sent any more letters to me, but resorted in telling me by phone on a weekly or fortnightly basis what actual leaving date they could see in their crystal ball at the time.

Foolishly, in a moment of weakness I must have believed them at one point and I had started my claim for unemployment benefit. By the time that I realised that they hadn't yet actually made me redundant I was in my second week of receiving benefit. Here, I hold my hands up again. I SHOULD have realised it hadn't actually happened. My fault and I accept that. 100%. That I was trying desperately to come to terms with reality/trying not to be stuffed yet again by my employers/starting numerous insurance claims and an unfair dismissal fight genuinely doesn't let me off the hook. What can I say? I am only human and mistakes happen. There was no malicious or criminal intent, so I did the right thing as I saw it and went to see my friendly government dept and told them what had happened and that I wanted to fix the problem. The nice lady was very helpful, made all the changes to the computer system and also let me know that it was technically an incorrect claim on 2 weeks benefit and that she would have to report it through the normal channels. I said I didn't have a problem with that, and I was sent on my merry way after being told that they would be in touch if any repayment was needed etc. After all, the benefit I receive is only for 6 months and its best if its the right 6 months. Of course at that point I didn't know I was still going to be sat here nearly 6 months later.

A couple of months pass and a letter drops through the door between postal strikes saying that they have received a 'report' that I have been a very naughty boy and have been caught claiming benefit while actually being in paid employment. Well, I couldn't really argue the toss on that, could I? The letter also stated that I was overpaid to the tune of £89.00 which may or may not be claimed back and would I please contact them to explain myself or any extenuating circumstances, or if I was denying the claim and so forth. In reply I sent them a nice letter and copies of my redundancy notices saying I was a complete prat and had made a mistake, gave them the circumstances and advised them that it had been me who had reported the error etc etc etc.

Another couple of months passed and I received a letter saying they wanted the 89 quid back and were going to take it back by reducing my benefit on certain dates. I thought that was fair enough but my lovely G said I should just contact them and make a payment. Good advice and I should have taken it at the time, but I was in a procrastinating phase and didn't. Me being me too I completely forgot until a second letter came in about 6 weeks later reminding me of the dates and that triggered me to call them and to make payment. Job done, you would think. Initial mistake identified and owned up to, information passed and full repayment made.

End of story!

Well no actually. Last week I got a letter asking me to attend a meeting to discuss my 'fraudulent' claim, which I did today. I took all my letters from my employer etc. At this meeting I was given a formal caution that what I said was being recorded and would be used in court as evidence should the case progress to a criminal case. I found that my case had been allocated TWO workers and they had over the last several weeks been in contact with my previous employer getting wage information. {remember this is for £89 which is no longer outstanding} I was then questioned and made to sign a copy of the recording for their files! I was nonplussed. All the more so as the senior investigator openly said that she had no idea why this low value case was being investigated in this way - although they had no record of either my initial reporting, which they had logged as an anonymous tip off, or my letter of explanation - but as the case was in process they were legally bound to complete it. They listened to my short explanation, looked at the letters from my employer and ended the recording and interview. Once the tape was off they apologised for wasting my time and made various references to a new manager, crossed wires and red tape.

I couldn't make up my mind whether I should be furious at the personal affront, furious as a taxpayer {temp excluded due to circumstances beyond my control} or pee myself laughing at the absurdity of it all. During the interview I was all three by turns as well as annoyed and embarrassed that my simple mistake had escalated to this state of affairs. What a waste of time, money and resource. If they gave me a job I could probably fix that for them.

Strange thing is they would never have been any the wiser if I hadn't been honest and upfront about the situation, become 'an anonymous source' and grassed myself up. What is it they say about honesty being the best policy..........

I came home tense, in need of a strong coffee, a massage to get rid of the tension knots that had built up and thinking the whole situation was nuts - in case anyone is wondering about the connection to the picture heading up the post!

Isn't life strange?

See you later.

Listening to Queen 'Its a Kind Of Magic'

The Porage Diaries

Hullo ma wee blog,

The weather has dropped a few degrees now and the morning run to the station is now in 2 or 3 degrees rather than the 7 or 8 of a week or two ago. Not that cold really but you have to factor in a bit of chill coming in with the sea wind.

Porage has become a mainstay of breakfast now winter is here. I make mine with water not milk and a good turn of salt to the mix when its being made, not on top once its served. Then again, I am only making it for me. 45 - 50g of oats to 350- 400ml water and five minutes later its pretty much good to go. As good a fast food as you can get. Strangely I used to love it as a child, loaded with sugar on top of course, and then went through about 30 years of hating the thought of it so much I was never tempted to try until one day I had some in a hotel while away working somewhere and it was so good that it kind of reopened my mind to it.

Reality has come home to roost with a rejection letter after my parole board interview. I shouldn't be that surprised, it was always a big leap for me, but one that I felt I could justify. Guess I invested too much emotion in it which isn't a good thing when your unemployed I suppose but I'm gutted none the less. I put a huge amount of effort into that particular venture and to have it miss the point is hard to take. But I have asked for feedback to help me understand where I fell short. So its back to the grindstone of looking for jobs which often aren't there even if you actually want to do them. I'm quite hacked off today as its all rubbish that's on offer. I have talked it through with my lovely G and I am definitely going to give the Parole Board another crack when the next raft of recruitment comes along regardless of what work I may be doing by then. It won't be for a year as appointments run for fixed terms but hopefully now that I know what the interviews are like.....

Insurance money is beginning to kick in fully which keeps those worries mostly at bay but even that is a double edged sword as it doesn't really make me HAVE to go and get a job, and while its good not to be in that position, the lack of impetus is something that any potential employer could read any way they choose. Actually as far as insurance is concerned I have found yet another policy which will pay us even more so that is in place now too. How unreal to have more money coming in than when I was actually working!

The divisiveness of unemployment is also to be seen in frustrated wee moments and criticism given to and from each of us based around thoughts of 'its been a while now/what are you doing around the house all day' to 'do you have any idea how stressful it is doing nothing/do you know how lucky you are not to be in this situation/have something to get out of bed for in the morning'. Luckily these are few and far between but they are there, an unspoken resentment which is in reality about the situation but in vulnerable moments could be read as personal and aggressive in either direction. We know about it and have spoken it through and are on the watch out for it. Our relationship is the most important thing for both of us and its a strong one. But its a debilitating experience for drive, enthusiasm and confidence this malarky and hard not to wallow in self pity. I'll be glad when it can be over. Like millions of others I suppose. I see a table in the paper which says unemployment in the county is just nudging 8%, one of the lower ones in the national average. Not very comforting though, nor is the fact that the rate of unemployment is slowing. {Yeah, and your point IS Mr. Politician?}

So I am forcing myself to spend a couple of hours daily doing the rounds of the web sites and keeping in touch in the forlorn hope of a contact coming good, making lists of jobs around the house I want to get done and trying to get them ticked off, mostly unsuccessfully for the last couple of weeks for sure. But its a temporary thing I'm not going to lie down to. Things will get better, truly better for us in time. At least we have the finance to let us tough it out.

Meanwhile its back tae auld claes 'n' purritch

see you later.

Listening to Sting 'dream of the blue turtles'

what an evening

Hullo ma wee blog,


Sitting in the garden enjoying the last of the days rays on my shoulder. The lovely G is out at a friends for dinner, an acquaintance from the early train to Edinburgh who has just recently changed jobs. So here I am, on me tod. I have opened a rather nice surprise from our meagre stock of wine in the rack in the kitchen - really must do something about that - an Argentinian oak aged 2007 shiraz called "The prop", and its a bit of a find, really nice and deeply flavoured, fruity and peppery and just now looking at the back of the bottle, a satisfying 14% abv. It is after all part of the reason to drink isn't it? Having been sitting in our warm kitchen for god knows how long too its just the right temperature and the flavour is lingering nicely on the palate. The birds are singing and if I listen carefully I can every so often hear the sheep in the fields at the edge of the village and the occasional mettalic rush of a train on its way from Edinburgh to points south on the east coast line. I feel quite mellow.......

I had a meeting today with the advisor from Careers Scotland to show me how to do a CV and tell me how to apply for jobs! He was a nice guy and after I brought him up to speed with what I have been doing so far and letting him know that I have quite high expectations, he seemed to treat me like a bit more of a proposition. I suppose these people are often dealing with folk who dont actually want to work and tend to try the sheep dip approach for everyone. Its not me. I'm going to go stir crazy if I dont get some work soon, and its only been five weeks if you include my garden leave. I told ham about one of the jobs I am applying for and he was able to point out a similar vacancy that has just come out today in another local area so I will be having a go for that. My problem, if it really is a problem, rather than my perception/fear is how employers are going to feel about me coming from a particular background where my role is not expected to come from. I hope it doesn't exclude me from interviews. I am trying to write my CV to highlight just how transferable my skills are and I hope I can do this clearly. I feel I have had enough this week and am going to take the day off tomorrow for me and get some stuff done around the house thats been bugging me and also spend a bit of time in the garden if the weather is good.

Listening to............Leonard Cohen "Take this waltz"

see you later.........

Redundant, who - me?

Redundancy seems to do strange things to you. Which is why I am sitting in my kitchen writing this at four o'clock in the morning. My mind is full of stuff and its making me toss and turn and to avoid waking my wife, the lovely G, I decided I should give in and get up for a bit. Daylight is seeping in through the windows and the dawn chorus is in fine voice. The view out of the bedroom window upstairs is across the garden to the bowling green and is actually quite lovely in this light as there is a long line of gold and pale brown across the horizon. Having decided to get up has immediately helped quiet the voice in my head and looking out across the stillness of the garden has calmed me in moments. I feel better already.

I have picked some music to match my mood and am just now listening to the beautiful, ethereal sound of the track " sacrifice" from the film "The Insider". The sound seems to hover about the room and feels like a call to the morning, a haunting instinctive hymn to the start of the day. At one time calming and restorative and, it feels, just a bit healing..........

My mind has been milling over the days events and it feels like I have at last come to a crossroads where I will be able to cut off dealing with my employer and start truly looking forward and getting myself sorted out. Its taken too long to get to this stage, more so because I have been waiting for a resolution to a dispute about pension funds.

During the redundancy process I was informed that I would be contacted six to eight weeks after leaving by the pension dept to give me my pensions options as I will be losing a final salary pension, which is a big thing when you are my age and have been working for the same company for thirty two years. Having done a bit of research I had found out that I could put a lump sum into my pension from my redundancy pay tax free and decided this was what I wanted. On bringing this up at what is jokingly called a "consultation" meeting, I obviously caught my head of dept and his personnel manager assistant for the process off guard as neither of them knew if this was possible. As I had discovered that as this could only be done as my redundancy pay was processed, I argued that it would be unfair to pay me off until I had the information to allow me to make a calculated decision, and so I was given a stay of execution for a week until they got me the information I needed. As it has transpired due to poor communication and blatant incompetence on their part it has taken them five weeks to get me the information and the forms needed and I found out at the start of this week that they were sneakily planning to make this wait part of my redundancy lieu of notice pay. Well to cut a long story short, I succeded in persuading them that this too would be unfair and have managed to get them to agree that my redundancy date will be as of today. So - an extra five weeks pay - which feels like no small victory to me. And another bonus is that I will qualify for another year of profit share. That should be worth a couple of grand too. What a result! Get it right up ye ya shower of B's!!!



Ah well, my tea is finished and maybe I can slip back under the covers for a wee cuddle and a snooze to start off the weekend.

See you later.................