Saturday, 29 August 2009

Lipstick on my collar...............


                                                    Photo - Jeff. J. Mtchell/Getty images

Hullo there ma wee blog,
Tonight we took our Dutch friends to see a show at the Edinburgh Festival. All arranged by the lovely G. A nice meal in a hotel nearby beforehand and then a liesurely stroll down to The Meadows to see the Ladyboys of Bangkok.
Aye the lady BOYS of Bangkok.


"Ah well", says I "all part of life's rich tapestry".
Actually what I thought was they wouldn't fool me for a second and that I would be sitting there wordly wise "told you so!" while all around agreed that they were definitely blokes in frocks. and it was all a bit cringe worthy.


Hold my hand up to that one.


What actually happened.


Lights down and opening music please.............
Ah,

Um,
Er,

Aw,

Ahm,

No,

Never,

What,

But, I,

But they,

But its not,

Oh my GOD,

Cant be,

Bloomin,

jings,

Aw Naw,
Michty!

Heavens!

Crivens jings and help ma boab!

But she's,

I mean but he's,

They've got,

they'vereallynotgot

She is absolutely.......

But,

But,

But,

No of course she's not gorgeous,,

Wow,

this cant be right,

Is this right,

Wow,

Wow,

And Wow,

Naw sweetheart of course I didn't wolf whistle.
Another beer?. Oh my God yes, please............

What do you mean close your mouth?

And then of course I noticed

"There are stairs off the stage down into the audience"
And during certain numbers they come down into the audience and strut their stuff - in a very nice manner - and get up close and personal with some of the audience members in a funny and lighthearted way but usually to the expense of some poor, shy, innoccuous and conservative male in the audience.

Sugar!

I put my head down slightly and think why do we have to have a table at the front of the audience. yes its got a great view but how would I react if..........

Wait a mo, why is everyone at our table looking at me?

No, not actually at me but past me

AW.........

NAW........


Lights, giggles of anticipation from all around

The smell of perfume wafts through from behind me

a finely manicured hand a slim wrist and naked arm glide past my ear and snake down my arm and across my chest
Aw.
Naw.....

A rather fulsome chest is pressed into the back of my neck, warm and soft, then fingers run through my hair and caress my neck and on to my cheek.
Aw,
the table is in histerics.
I haven't blushed like this since I was twelve
Naw..........

Puh- Lease........

Oh Mum.........
the hand on my cheek turns my face towards its owner and I get a kiss on my cheek and a hug and some further exploration of my chest regions from the only Growler in the cast. I am frozen solid.
The lights move on and the table around me is still in uproar.
Still at least its over now.......
The fantastic floor show goes on till its foot stomping, arm waving end and slowly the lights come back up.
The lady sitting next to me at the edge of our group - and whom I dont know - takes one look at me and starts to laugh so hard I think she might fall out of her chair.



Yes ok, you guessed it but me being me had never even thought.



I have bright red lipstick smeared from jaw to ear.



I blush again, just as fiercely



thanks for that Mr/Mrs/Miss Ladyboy...........
Fantastic night,
Fantastic show,
What a laugh.
Dont think they are all from Bankok though. I'm sure I saw a couple of Brazilians..............
see you later................

2 comments:

Scottish Nature Boy said...

Can't believe this never attracted any comments at the time - you poor sod! You must have been a fair stand-in for the local lighthouse!

Alistair said...

That was back in the day when no one read the blog I guess. {and you're dead right by the way}

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