Blessed be the most unholy and mighty bin bag of Lothian Council for you are the sanctuary of things unclean.
You provide a resting place for that which is ripe or rank.
You rain strength and security down upon us and bear without rancour the weightiest of our problems.
You carry and lighten our loads and deliver us unto cleanliness and perspicacity.
You are thrice blessed.
You bless those who manufacture and purchase, and those who use and honour thy strength
You never fail to support us in our time of need or remove from sight that which doth offend us.
May your mighty double strength walls and tie handles never tear or pour forth offense for you are the great and the good unholy bin bag of Lothian Council.
A curse on makers of economy bin bags! I hope you have to use them yourselves forever.
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