one of the least flattering photos I could find of ya
Hullo ma wee blog,
Slowly I am coming out of a fairly deep snooze but I'm not awake. I'm comfortable and warm and there is something pressing on my chest. I can feel my hand is up there but in the drugged, half awake state I can't for the life of me think what else it might be. I know I am lying on the sofa. I know I had a book with me before I fell asleep. It's probably that. There's definitely something there. Actually, its making my breathing quite laboured compared to normal and I do feel quite hot. Clammy almost. My arm feels a bit numb, a bit pins and needles and when I try and move it, it feels heavy, sluggish.
Bloody hell! Am I having a heart attack?
I snap my eyes open and find Jess's pink nose about an inch away from my face. Her eyes are closed and she appears to be fast asleep. She is curled on my chest and oddly straddling my arm which is why I can't move the bloomin thing. Her eyes open and she contemplates me for a second, then slowly, luxuriously almost, does an enormous pantomime catty yawn right in my face.
Although I am far from impressed with her oral hygiene it triggers a yawn from me in reply. I stretch too and pull my arm slowly from under her. My right leg has been propped on the arm rest at the other end of the sofa and as I move it I let out a howl of pain as its gone rigid from being in an odd position for some time. This prompts Jess to scarper pronto off my chest and, to gain maximum thrust as she does so, I am skewered in the chest by multiple razor sharp claws digging through my tee shirt.
Jolted upright by the pain I pull a muscle in my back and let out another screech of anguish.
Delicately, nursing my injured back, knee and chest I ease myself off the sofa and onto my feet, wincing as I straighten out and, with a face contorting premonition of the pain I am about to experience, put some real weight on my injured knee.
I stand shakily and rock back and forth on my legs to ease the discomfort for a moment and slowly, slightly hunched, head out of the lounge and cross the hall towards the kitchen in search of a paracetamol and a coffee.
As I leave the room I look over to where Jess is sitting on the rug in front of the fire and she looks back disdainfully as if to say "That was a bit stupid! What did you do that for?" and begins licking at a misbehaving bit of fur.
By the time I have taken a step she has slumped down and is clearly making herself comfy on the plush rug. Firelight bounces off her coat at me as she lifts her head slightly and closes her eyes to the glare of bright flames.
The hall is freezing.
I'm sure I can hear bones creaking and feel blood running down my chest as I walk to the kitchen, deciding too I should find a mirror and do a visual check on the damage.
see you later when I've patched myself up.
Listening to Jess 'Heavy purrs in the firelight'
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